Muffins and Kidnappings
by Les Papillons
Summary: Another weirdstupidfunny parody written by moi. It was inspired by my love of Ray as well as my love for muffins. :p lol Read and review at your own risk and you will be my friend forever.


**A/N Hello everyone, here is a little parody about Ray and Lily because...what is better then Ray and Lily? Nothing is better then Ray and Lily, except for maybe a muffin. What kind you ask? Well you'll have to read to find out won't you.**

Lily was walking to school on the first day of grade nine. She was a relatively normal fifteen year old girl who was currently loving life. She'd just gotten back from her mall tour with her band, No Man's Land, in time to buy some back school clothes and the odd guitar pick.

As Lily Randall reached the big brick prison that was otherwise known as Henry Roscoe High she saw a very hot dark haired boy standing on the front steps waiting for her. It was her boyfriend and best friend Ray Brennan who had just managed to escape from Keeley's garage in time for the new season of Radio Free Roscoe.

"Hey, Ray," Lily said as the two teenagers shared a long passionate kiss on the steps of the school.

"I missed you," Ray said smiling down at the blonde musician he'd fallen so hard for.

"I missed you too Ray-hey were you all summer," Lily asked tilting her head to the side a bit, genuinely confused.

"This crazy girl...uh Keeley, kidnapped me on July 22nd...something about a birthday present. She locked me up in Keeley's garage, I don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet," Ray said shaking his head. A look of fear appeared in his dark eyes as he told Lily this.

"That's awful sweetie, what kind of deranged person would do something like that?" Lily replied as the two walked inside the school building hand in hand.

As soon as they got their locker assignments they walked down the hallway to their lockers, which were coincidentally right beside each other. Lily opened hers and began to put her things away. She pulled a tiny calender with a picture of a guitar on it and hung it on her locker door.

"Hey, that's what today is," Lily said as she saw what she'd written in the small box. It was their anniversary.

"Uh, sweetie-I didn't know-," Ray started to say, doing that cute thing where he opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish. He was in deep trouble...he hadn't gotten Lily anything and there she was looking up at him, waiting for him to pull a present out of thin air.

"You mean you didn't get me anything," Lily asked blinking back tears. How could he have forgotten that today, 64 days and 5 hours ago, they'd called each other boyfriend and girlfriend for the first time.

"Don't worry Lil, I got you something-yeah just a second," Ray said remembering what he'd put in his bag that morning. He knew she'd like it, no she'd love it. It was everything a girl could ever want, and more.

He dug through his bag until he found it and pulled it out slowly holding it up to catch the light like a gleaming prize. Ray stood up and solemnly held out the hand holding the gift out to Lily.

"Ray-how could you," Lily said shocked. Ray waited for some comment about the fact that he was a great boyfriend or a hopeless romantic but it never came. Instead Lily burst into tears and turned around and ran off, throwing Ray's "present" onto the ground.

Ray looked down on the wonderful work of art that lay there on the floor. His heart was breaking as he watched his girlfriend run off. How could she not have loved it? He wondered as he let a few tears trickle down his face as he thought of Lily...and the small palm sized object that lay on the ground. It had fallen in it's prime and crumbs and bits of strawberry could be seen scattered around it.

Ray couldn't stand to stay there anymore so he began to walk off in the opposite direction as Lily. The hallway was now deserted and all that was left was the present Ray had given to Lily...a fresh strawberry muffin, lying all alone, looking very forlorn, in the middle of the empty hallway.

Suddenly out of nowhere, a very short, dark haired girl wearing an "I LOVE RAY BRENNAN" t-shirt walked up and picked up the muffin. She examined it from all sides before taking a large bite and walking away...finally content, as she chewed through the decedant strawberry pastery.

The End

**A/N Yes I DO know that that was weird. But it's always nice to take a break from the usual Ray/Lily fluff and write something weird...hey, wait! That DID have some Ray/Lily fluff in it. No fair. Meh, anyways now you can review and comment on my little spurt of weirdness while I go back to studying for my exams. Toodles!**

**Keeley**


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